February 2012
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“She keeps complaining about how she wants to lose all this weight, and I mean,...”
– Since I don’t really have anything to do during my lunch hour/off period (i.e. since I don’t have friends and don’t want to sit alone in the lunchroom), I sit in my theatre teacher’s office and bother him for an hour and a half and ramble to him about my life, and he rambles to me about his, and...
Anonymous asked: virgin?
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Turns out 101-136 is normal weight for my height.
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I only like Words With Friends now because I beat that 30 year old who kept hitting on me a bunch and right now I’m triple my mom’s score.
Did you know that it takes losing three games of Words With Friends for people to stop hitting on you? Just three games!
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My mom is watching a show on her laptop while one she’s recording two with her dvr and every time her show freezes on the laptop, she takes her headphones out and start watching the tv.
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“I don’t think I’d like to be kidnapped. It doesn’t seem fun.”
– my mom, while watching One Tree Hill
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It’s really creepy when my mom makes me scratch her back. She just stands in front of me, holding her shirt up, going “I itch! I itch!”
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sssquid:
“I think that god is more important than the truth.”
An actual sentence that came out of my coworkers mouth
Say whaaaaaaa?
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Yesterday at work, while I was making this guy’s drink, he leaned in the window and told me very slowly that I was doing a very good job and was very pretty.
It’s weird when people talk to me in the same tone you’d use on a scared child and then hit on me.
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sssquid replied to your post: sssquid replied to your post: sssquid replied to…
Andy actually refused to give the key back and some other things of mine that he took. We had to drive to his house and force him to give it back. He’s a fucking cock and I hope you’re no longer friends with him.
Wait, what? Why?
The one time my roommate flushes the toilet she almost breaks the handle and leaves it running who knows how long.
No, seriously, how do you not know how to flush the toilet after 19-20 years of toilets? How?
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sssquid replied to your post: sssquid replied to your post: So apparently they…
pfft she’s just stupid. PS I got your key back.
Yes! Finally, access to my apartment- whenever I want! I’m going to come and go at all hours of the night! All hours!
sssquid replied to your post: So apparently they won’t give you a butterbeer…
omg whyyyyyyyyyyyyy
“It’s a trademark drink,” was what the dumb lady told me.
My food was done like 15 minutes ago, but my roommate walked out there. I figured I’d just wait ‘til she was done but she walked back and forth between her room and the kitchen for 10 minutes and is now washing dishes.
I mean, I’m glad she’s washing her dishes finally, but geeze, go to your room and hide like a normal person so I can eat.
my half sister is 3
flyinghellfish:
and is already a crazy cat lady. i guess it runs in the family
So is our 2 year old cousin. She’s a crazy cat lady and a vegetarian.
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So apparently they won’t give you a butterbeer without the cream on top anymore.
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“When I first got pregnant I used to stare at the mirror and cry and cry because...”
– great grandma, sharing some funny memories from her past
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Does Legoland suck? I don’t want to pay $70 to find out whether they meant the whole “geared to children 2-12” thing or not.
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“Where is Tower of Terror from here?”
“That is in Hollywood Studios at Disney.”
“You’re kidding me.”
“Nope, definitely Disney.”
“Honey! It’s not even this park apparently!”
Free events are weird.
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“Hey lady, where’s the hot dog stand?”
“… What hot dog stand?”
“I don’t know, there’s one around here somewhere.” (Nope.)
“Uh, Fire Eater’s sells foot long hot dogs.” *Points to giant sign ten feet away that says ‘Fire Eater’s Grill’*
“Where?”
“Fire Eater’s, right...
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“I may have a question for you, hold on.” *walks a few feet towards the Wizarding World, looking directly at it* “Okay, yes, where is the Wizarding World thing?”
“You see that giant red train right there?”
“Yes.”
“Yeah… That’s it.”
“Oh.”
I opened my window a while ago and since then the wind has blown my door shut 3 times and just now it blew the door open and then shut.
My half opened window opened my door and shut it. Very loudly, I might add.
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Kitty just got halfway down the hallway, realized I wasn’t following him, turned around, and walked around my legs, meowing ‘til I petted his fluffy head.
flyinghellfish replied to your post: I can’t tell if the cats are finally playing with…
maybe he wants to eat lupin. regular cat food can no longer sustain him
Awe, kitty. Murderous kitty.
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I forgot how much I poop when I actually drink soda and eat.
I can’t tell if the cats are finally playing with each other or if Percival has just decided to chase Lupin around until he loves him.
This guy played the word “nag” and then told me it was my turn three times over the next day. I can’t tell if he thinks it’s funny or if he’s really that lonely.
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Saturday Plans:
eat taco bell shamefully in car
put gas in the car
serve free food ‘til midnight for some weird work event
Applying for fafsa and Valencia soon, I guess.
Tune in in a few months for when I hyperventilate in a bathroom after getting lost on my way to class and never go back to school.
sssquid:
My cat keeps making random birdman calls….
Kitty loves his drugs.
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Guy, upon hearing that I can't accept tips: "Oh, how they deny you. Also, one red stripe."
