December 2011
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I have to get up at 7 tomorrow- 7! I didn’t even go to sleep ‘til then this morning.
November 2011
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Fun facts: my sister shaves balls all the time, but not Jesse’s.
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Fun facts: my boyfriend’s brother waxes his girlfriend’s privates for her.
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confused and aroused: Siri Failures, Illustrated →
stfusexists:
keepyourboehneroutofmyuterus:
amaditalks:
The recent illustrations of Siri, the iPhone 4S voice-recognition based assistant, failing to provide information to users about abortion, birth control, help after rape and help with domestic violence has gotten a lot of notice. Yesterday’s post with screenshots from a Twitter conversation I was a part of has netted 200+ notes the last...
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Oh, and then I listened to one of the stockers, who first had sex when he was 16, tell me I was too young to be having sex because I was girl. Then after he assured me that I would get pregnant, he spent the next ten minutes shaming sluts and glorifying “playas.” Did you guys know that men should have sex at a young age because their penis wants it and it just means they have game but...
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Conversations I had with the new girl at work:
“Wait, you’re not an Atheist are you? But you look so cute and innocent! When you hear Atheist you think of heavy eyeliner, black hair, black nails, black clothes… “
“You mean goth?”
“Yeah, goth.”
“Well, I don’t know much about religions- I mean, I know my religion and that’s...
I was going to sleep before work, but then I opened Minecraft and started eating.
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“That’s perfectly fine. I just like hot sauce and beer.”
– bearded guy who came to Fire Eater’s the other day
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“I’ve seen the Flintstones, they have sooo many cups and sooooo much urine.”
“That’s more incorrect than when you said it was “females crawl.” You were probably watching some crazy edited version of the Flintstones fit for pansies who love cups and hate bad language.”
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flyinghellfish replied to your post: Work started scheduling me again and my sister…
you can live with our mom again for awhile lol
Nooooooooooooooooooooo
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Work started scheduling me again and my sister might get a job tomorrow if her interview goes well, so I was looking at bus schedules from my apartment to Universal and it’s going to take me 3 buses and 2 hours and 30 minutes to get there. It takes me about 25 minutes if traffic isn’t too bad. Besides, the buses each make 24-61 stops in between the stop it picks me up at and the stop I...
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I completely forgot being employed meant 9 a.m. shifts.
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“Because we’re like her adopted family or something and I wish she’d...”
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I lost a child to the Occupy movement.
itsallgone:
Just thirteen days ago I was eight months pregnant.
Everyone loved rubbing my belly.
I even wore my “Baby On Board” shirt over my gigantic stomach.
Read More
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Facebook chat is a dangerous thing to be on. Sometimes, people who you haven’t seen or talked to in almost two years start asking you for advice about their relationships. Never sign on to facebook chat.
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And now he tried to kill R2D2 out of pizzaless spite! What a monster!
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Lupin the brave is sitting next to my pizza and staring at it. If I look away he’s going to pounce.
Oh god, he tried to eat some while I was making this post.
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I just realized that I got the call in number for work the week I started, but didn’t get the main number ‘til around 8 months in. I realized this when someone who had been working there much longer than me asked me for the call in number.
My point is that this other employee clearly needs to sort out his priorities.
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Code red and bananas aren’t a good mix. Don’t try this at home, folks.
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flyinghellfish replied to your post: flyinghellfish replied to…
we could hardly be as douchey as eric
But you’re trying, and that’s what’s important.
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I’ve had to pee really bad at least 3 times in the last 2 hours. I’ve had one glass of mountain dew in that time, and I went to the bathroom twice before I got home! That’s not normal. This isn’t normal, bladder, just let me finish my moat on minecraft, so I can build a giant castle. I can’t go to work terribly sleepy if I didn’t even build a giant castle...
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Does it count as a surprise party if you beg all your facebook friends multiple times to throw you one?
If not, then this girl is in for a huge surprise.
“I will smell like pine trees and bears, though.”
– things I let my mom know before she gets too excited about Thanksgiving
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flyinghellfish replied to your post: sssquid replied to…
oohhh don’t respond to my jerkass responses! i see how it is
Shut up! Go eat your vegetables! Shut up!
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So, I went to work today for the first time in two months.
Some business men (who wears even slightly fancy clothes to a theme park?) stood across from my cart for a while. Then two of them took out cameras and took a couple of pictures of my cart while looking in the opposite direction. I hid behind my ice cream sign until they left.
I forgot how creepy work is. And how no one respects the 3...
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sssquid replied to your post: flyinghellfish answered your question: What should…
your right. (get it?) okay, so, no pie. he doesn’t deserve pie. promise him pie at the end of a maze, but actually kill him. don’t let him escape.
And then I eat the pie that was in the middle of the maze, right?
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flyinghellfish answered your question: What should I make for a really awkward…
you’re going to eric’s??? did you tell our mom? you’re going to miss all the food
sssquid replied to your post: What should I make for a really awkward…
you’re terrible boyfriend is more important that your family and all of the vegan foods that will be available? damn
*your
Really? Eric is having his...
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What should I make for a really awkward Thanksgiving dinner at my boyfriend’s house?
I’ve narrowed it down to three different pies.
Chocolate cream:
Swirled Cheesecake pumpkin pie (without the nuts):
Or chocolate pumpkin pie
?
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Coworker’s status: “So what happens when a white cat crosses your path? Is it good luck? I think that’s a bit racist lol”
I was going to tell them that white cats are bad luck on your way to school and sneezing black cats are good luck on your wedding day, according to crazy people, but I don’t really want my coworkers knowing how much I know about...
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Joel went to put something in Eric’s room while I was sleeping. I grunted at him and he said “Shush, kitty.”
He thought I was their cat. Joel thinks I’m a cat.
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I would have cared if we’d be dating at the time and none of it would have been okay, but we were just friends so it doesn’t anger me in the least that my old best friend was a complete douche most of the time and I can’t wait for him to talk to me again. Hurrah! It’ll be so great talking to someone who hates and is apparently still in love with my girlfriend again! I...
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What follows is a rant about an overemotional douche who’s crazy.
Eric’s old best friend, who hasn’t talked to either of us(or my two best friends and my sister for some reason, who all had nothing to do with anything but are still blocked and hated) in a little over a year and 3 months, said he might come to Eric’s camping trip, presumably as long as I’m not there,...
flyinghellfish replied to your link: BBC Hires Harry Potter Director David Yates to Develop Doctor Who Film Franchise
david yates has probably never seen dr who
Goddamn David Yates.
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BBC Hires Harry Potter Director David Yates to... →
victoryjobs:
“Yates told Variety that he is developing the first film, which will introduce the space-traveling Time Lord and his iconic red telephone booth time machine to those not already familiar with the global hit TV series”
Well, this is probably going to suck.
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Kitten gray: now you can perfectly capture the gray of every kitten with a marker!
Kitten drawings skyrocket.
Abandoned pinky pink and chocolate chip markers litter the streets, but everyone is too busy inside trying to draw the perfect cat to care.
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Anonymous asked: Not only do I like your blog (haha I found it) but I also am OBSESSED with you secretly. Ok here we go.. I got this idea from a Tumblr spam I got once lol.. I think you like me too and you were always too shy to admit it :3 go to crushmatches(dõt)com (wtf it wont let me link regular) and make an account there. Then look up the profile 'gottagetme19' (me obviously) I left body...
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flyinghellfish replied to your post: “I know I am not Christianm, Buddist, Atheist,…
wow, jessica; you are dumb
Says the person who tried to eat soup with chopsticks!
