November 2011
3 tags
I asked Eric’s brother for advice on a gift. Never ask Eric’s brother anything.
“Uh, iono, I’m getting him something cool, you could get him anal sex. He can’t buy that and he’ll really like it.”
“Why don’t you get him anal sex and I’ll get him something cool? Deal?”
“Naw, he wouldn’t like that.”
He’s...
2 tags
5 tags
Why is I Never Sexually Harassed Anyone And Planned Parenthood is Planned Genocide Cain winning? What if this man actually gets into office, people?!
October 2011
4 tags
1 tag
2 tags
“This morning I saw Alysha come in and use your deodorant and then she ate all of your gum.”
“Yeah, sounds like her.”
2 tags
flyinghellfish replied to your photo: Would this dress look weird on me? Is this a…
It looks nice, but juice looks nicer
Pfft, always with the juice. There are more important things, Alysha!
2 tags
imgonnakilleveryoneomg replied to your photo: Would this dress look weird on me? Is this a…
ugly as fuck
It’s okay, I just found the perfect dress for every occasion.
1 tag
1 tag
Facebook automatically makes all of my own statuses top stories and most of the time those are the only top stories. Facebook has figured out that I’m only interested in me.
1 tag
“Okay, do you have their name?”
“Uh, I think it was Jeremy or Jared?”
“Jennifer? Okay, hold on.”
“…Wait. What?”
“Hello, this is Jennifer.”
“Um.”
3 tags
I’m pretty sure phone calls are purely to make me sound too stupid to hire.
4 tags
I guess I’ll call JCPenney back even though they called me two hours ago and didn’t leave an extension and it’ll be weird and I’ll have to talk to customer service and be redirected and they won’t hire me because they’ll think I’m stupid.
thedoctorlovespotter replied to your post: The costume store put me on hold again and I…
hugs
It’s alright. The lady was really nice and gave me a refund without making me bitch. I just told the costume wasn’t here yet and she put me on hold then told me when it gets here to send it back completely unopened and they’ll refund it.
2 tags
The costume store put me on hold again and I started shaking. Like actually shaking.
1 tag
I should call JCPenney back but I still can’t talk very well. This is going to be awkward.
3 tags
I must destroy Gandhi and his stupid elephants.
imgonnakilleveryone:
screaming “love me” at your cats
2 tags
4 tags
What do you love about JCPenney?
The clean, nice look of the place
The values!
The selection!
blah
I like JCPenney, but I don’t LOVE anything.
How do you deal with the stress of work and dealing with difficult customers?
I sleep in on my days off.
Hang out with friends and family
blah
Eat something delicious
blah
1 tag
sssquid replied to your post: sssquid replied to your post: sssquid replied to…
you didn’t announce that you were home. I expect written notification posted both under my door and on our fridge.
You don’t announce when you come home! You just walk on in like you own the place!
2 tags
flyinghellfish replied to your post: The Halloween costume site I got my costume from…
just don’t open it and return to sender
That won’t get me my $50 back, though. I’m just going to call them in the morning and bitch about it not shipping within the 4-8 days they told it would ship ‘til they agree to refund it.
sssquid replied to your post: The Halloween costume site...
2 tags
sssquid replied to your post: sssquid replied to your post: sssquid replied to…
You’re not home you lying cunt.
No one pays attention to me! Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!
2 tags
1 tag
sssquid replied to your post: sssquid replied to your post: My steam account…
YES PLEASE OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG!!!!!! and forsaken world is kinda fun, actually. Did you ever play guild wars? It’s sorta similar, but with a WoW twist (and only the good parts from WoW, not all of the many, many, many terrible ones.)
Oh sorry, I didn’t see this ‘til I got home. Eric posted torrents...
3 tags
The Halloween costume site I got my costume from let’s you return costumes and refunds everything but the 4-5 dollars for shipping, which is fine, except the stupid site doesn’t offer refunds for anything ordered between Oct 10th and Nov 1st.
It’s a Halloween shop. When else would people be ordering?!
I just want to return the stupid costume that didn’t come in time for...
1 tag
flyinghellfish replied to your post: The first letter I opened from unemployment told…
when jesse got insurance, he got a letter saying he was dropped, then a week later, a bill for his insurance, then his insurance cards, then a welcome letter. so just try to claim the benefits
I don’t qualify, though. I only worked in one quarter, not two. Plus when I went to the site to claim...
3 tags
flyinghellfish replied to your post: Tumblr, if I get my hair cut what would look less…
lots of layers. then it won’t sit on top of itself dumbly. remember how thick and unmanageable my hair was before i cut it short and let it grow out again? then it was thin and beautiful. so yeah, layers and stop using shampoo
It looked weird last time I got layers, though and it got all poofy.
...
3 tags
amorphousblob answered your question: Tumblr, if I get my hair cut what would look less…
This site helps a lot. naturallycurly.com
Thanks.
someonewithinternet replied to your post: Tumblr, if I get my hair cut what would look less…
Don’t cut it short if you want it to be less frizzy, cause then it will be short and look more thick and frizzy than ever. Try a deep conditioner. DON’T...
2 tags
2 tags
Tumblr, if I get my hair cut what would look less stupid? Your choices are every hair style for dumb curly/frizzy/thick hair ever?
sssquid replied to your post: My steam account stopped being a bitch, so which…
forsaken world is free. oh, and portal. and portal 2. get both and let me use your steam account to play them. also, you can use my bitchin’ computer to play games if you want. it’s mighty bitchin’. plus the monitor is 40”. FOURTY-FUCKING-INCHES.
Is forsaken world not a waste of money because it’s great...
2 tags
The first letter I opened from unemployment told me to make sure I claimed the past two weeks online soon so it wouldn’t delay my benefits.
The second letter told me I had insufficient wage credits and wasn’t going to get any money.
4 tags
Are you saying if you die and get reincarnated as...
That’s bullshit!
flyinghellfish replied to your post: My steam account stopped being a bitch, so which…
don’t buy games until you have a job!
But there are old crappy games for under $5. Like 500 of them! I must buy all of them!
1 tag
Eric picks me up a lot, too.
And so did people at school.
People pick me up a lot.
Stop it.
3 tags
Alysha tried to pick me up today, so we could reach a beer glass on the top shelf and I realized that she’s tried to pick me up a lot over the years. It’s her first solution to most problems.
2 tags
2 tags
No one can eat just one- because they have drugs...
1 tag
My steam account stopped being a bitch, so which games aren’t a waste of money?
1 tag
“I HOPE YOU’RE HAPPY”
– things I text Eric without explanation or prior conversation
3 tags
When I was at Eric’s house he wouldn’t let me play Sims Social. (I watch him play tons of stupid games all the time!) He literally picked me up and moved me away from the computer before I could do anything. And now Alysha beat Sims before me. I hope Eric’s happy.
3 tags
I applied to Boston Market a month ago and they just sent me an email saying my application had been received.
2 tags
Anonymous asked: IM me on Yahoo Msngr it's important. my username is wilsonneslerPP121367
4 tags
My grandma and aunt want Christmas lists already. I think I’m just going to put ridiculous shirts on the list.
Starting with these:
1 tag
flyinghellfish replied to your post: The Clerks cartoons aren’t any less funny every…
i only didn’t laugh because i’ve seen them a million times. i still think they’re funny
Good, good.
flyinghellfish replied to your post: When we went to Del Taco, Alysha asked if I wanted…
on a related note, we don’t have drinks at home. only mixers for alcohol
Yeah, we should go to a store of...
1 tag
sssquid:
amantessuntamentes:
The Clerks cartoons aren’t any less funny every time I watch them.
omg they’re literally the worst. they aren’t any less funny because they aren’t funny to begin with.
alysha and I tried to watch them. I mean really tried. I even watched them twice just to make sure that I wasn’t being ridiculous. But, nope, just bad.
What? Alysha’s seen them before....
